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[Sep. 4th, 2005|09:41 pm] |
NATALEE HOLLOWAY ~ NEW RULES
By Patrick Hurley Sept. 4, 2005
http://www.useless-knowledge.com
The inevitable occurred today. Joran and the the Kalpoe brothers walked. Surprise, surprise.
Aruban justice backed up by Dutch law and the crack investigative team headed up by their chief prosecutor Moe, their police chief Larry and their lead interrogator Curley did an effective job of making certain no one was guilty in the disappearance of Natalee Holloway. I guess Joran Van der Sloot left her on the beach near the Marriott and she, uh, self-evaporated. This happens every day in the utopian universe of Aruban police annals. Now, the three boys and the law can meet at Carlos and Charlie's and toast their success. They combined to destroy a young girl's life and devastate two immediate families not to mention hundreds of other relatives and friends.
It appears this case is over. Now, we can all wait for the next girl to disappear so the, ahem, legal system down there can make that one go away, too. Maybe a Star Trek, "she was beamed up" after the Pimp Gang were done with her, excuse will fly in the new scenario. When it comes to creatively getting rid of evidence and messy crimes, I have full confidence in the island paradise to come through in the clutch. I can just see Paulus Van der Sloot at the bar tonight, "Hey! The drinks are all on ME! Just make sure you don't put any ecstasy in them! Heh, heh! We save that for our VISITORS! Easy come, easy go you naive American high school graduates! Remember our new slogan when you come down to party with us...No Dutch blood; No CHANCE! Joran! Why don't you and your buddies grab a few girls and shoot some new video!"
Just like Natalee Holloway never existed....
For those of you who are crowing today because:
1. There was no proof of a crime.
2. You believe Natalee ran away.
3. Joran is innocent until proven guilty.
4. Justice was finally served.
5. Dutch Law ROCKS!
6. Beth Twitty finally got what she deserved.
7. The country and natives of Aruba are really great.
8. This senior trip tragedy was really Mountain Brook's fault.
I have news for you. You are full of the caca that makes up the landfill they searched. We Americans played by the rules. We lost. So, maybe we should start playing by YOUR rules...
Rule #1: Joran goes off to college in Holland. Some good ole boys from Alabama show up one night at Von Carlos and Hans Charlie's where they manuever him into a Hummer and take him for a ride to a windmill. They have sex with him in the back seat and leave him on a levee at 2:30 a.m. Of course, he is NEVER found again. There is no evidence of a crime, so technically the Alabama boys are innocent according to Dutch law. No Joran, No CASE. The legal system in Holland does work after all. Love it.
Rule #2: The Kalpoe brothers are out partying with their pals and hitting on girls left and right. Two of the girls are Navy Seals. They take them to a beach in Aruba and dissolve them with a bazooka. There are some ashes that disappear into the sea. The parents ask Equusearch to come and find the ashes. But, for some reason, the Texas-based group is not to be found. They are all playing computer games at Internet Cafes in San Antonio, Midland and Galveston. Sorry.
Rule #3: Paulus Van der Sloot is desperately looking for HIS child in Holland. He is low on cash and asks the Twitty and Holloway family for help. They respond by giving him the SAME assistance he gave them in their time of need....they send him a violin.
Rule #4: Aruba's economy begins to suffer as their tourist trade drops from 70% to 40%. Carlos and Charlie's is facing near bankruptcy. The island makes a dramatic appeal to Americans to come back and spend their vacation money on their island. The citizens of the United States unite together and BUY the island at 25 cents on the dollar. They turn it into the Caribbean Neverland. Drug dealers and slave traders are scared to death of ever visiting again. They don't want to mess with Michael Jackson...
Rule #5: The lead prosecutor, the chief of police and the interrogators are forced to remain at Aruban Neverland. OJ Simpson is brought in to make certain they follow the RULES. He plays golf with Caren Janssen. She was last seen putting on the fifth green...
Rule #6: All Caribbean nations observe the New Rules and pass laws that from now on the FBI will handle international investigations with the local police and prosecutors to be used as ADVISORS only.
Rule #7: All graduation trips in the United States will be spent within one mile of the local high school.
You don't like my rules, Aruba? Well, I guess that makes you and I even then. Your laissez faire attitude not only built an environment of illegal drug and alcohol usage; it also expresses a huge WINK to the criminal element in that environment. You don't want justice, you want economic stability. You went by your rules to make certain that money was far more important to you than a girl's life. So, it is time for my rules to make sure you COMPREHEND how unfair and unrighteous you are.
Natalee Holloway may or may not have made mistakes the night she disappeared. But, your pathetic investigation and disgusting lack of vigilance ensured that no evidence would EVER convict the young monsters who did her in. You can nobly proclaim your court system and laws all you want. You can say that your legal system worked. But, it is falling on deaf ears from Alabama throughout the world. Because we understand the only reason your laws worked was because your investigation failed.
My rules will never be implemented, of course; and your way of law will continue. My prayer is that your approach to human life down there changes dramatically as you realize that the people who visit your paradise island are more than a bar tab or a hotel guest. They are significant creations of God who are loved by their friends and relatives and will be sorely missed.
By the way, her name is Natalee Ann Holloway, just in case you don't want to remember....
Because we who loved her will never forget.
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About the author: Pat Hurley has won three Emmy awards for writing, hosting and producing television shows. He resides in Southern California. |
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